Reality of Missions

My time in the mission field is teaching me that there are many seasons in the life of a missionary. Seasons such as missing family and friends in the states, seasons of extreme challenges and emotional struggle, seasons of loneliness along with seasons of great fellowship and witnessing the joy of the Lord. There is also a recurring weather pattern in these seasons made up of many hellos and, unfortunately, many goodbyes with mission teams, interns, teammates or family in the US. Growing up I hated change and avoided it at all cost. I can only laugh now when I stop and recognize how the Lord continues to grow me.

I have been in a season of change and challenge. I look at it as a season where the Lord is pruning and refining me. Shaping me to be more like Him. If I’m completely honest and transparent, I’ll admit it’s been painful and hard. I will give you a glimpse into my life these past few months. This past week I said one of the hardest goodbyes of my life to my wonderful friends and co-laborers for God, Mitch and Char Hildebrant. They had been missionaries in Southern Africa for 6 years and felt the Lord calling them back to the states. We did almost all of our ministry together and they both are my best friends. Also, within the next four months I will also be saying goodbye to two other missionary couples, John & Kay West and Randy & Tara Jamison. Through all of these changes God has constantly been telling me that He is enough. God has been using the song “All I need” By Bethany Dillon to speak to me:

You are all I need when I’m surrounded

You are all I need if I’m by myself

You fill me when I’m empty

There is nothing else

You’re all I need

Along with these hard goodbyes, I am in a season of God pruning me. Pruning is the act of cutting away the dead or overgrown that is holding back growth. Cutting away in order to encourage growth. I’ve wrestled with God in this season. Questioned him over whether or not I’ve been pruned too much or even cut down. I trust God despite this time of questions and wresting.

John 15:2 states, “He cuts off every branch that does not produce fruit in me, and he cuts back every branch that does produce fruit, so that it might produce more fruit.”

Though this pruning process, the Lord has given me a much clearer vision of my ministry to women in South Africa to help move them toward a lasting relationship with God and economic stability. He is also moving me in different ministry directions than some of my previous ministry partners. I am choosing to trust the Lord and push on to His purpose of my life here as a part of His grander story. This change (back to that change thing) has been challenging during this season of goodbyes, but I choose to trust. I trust God to not be afraid to go into a new season, to find new partners with similar ministry mindsets, to make new friends who will become family, and embrace new opportunities for the Lord to use me. My ministry vision statement is, “Partnering with God to make a difference, one life at time.” That is true today, more than ever, in this season.

When the morning comes

And Your mercy is renewed

There’s a fire in my bones

I’m not afraid to go alone

You’re all I need

You’re all I need

The sun on my face

I hear You whisper loud

You’re still the God that opens seas

Every flower, even me

You’re all I need

You’re all I need

Kay and John West

The Jamison Family

Char, Mitch and I